


The Property Of Hate Except The Characters Are (Even More) Self Aware

by gummywyrms



Series: TPOHAI/The Property of Malice [1]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, The Property of Hate
Genre: About the tags thing i mean, Action/Adventure, Amputation, Anyways, Bubby uses he/they/it, Canon-Typical Violence, Darnold just uses he/him, Dr Coomer and Forzen use he/she/they, Fluff, Found Family, Genderfluid Character, Gordon and Benrey use He/They, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Character, Not tagging gordon for now to keep the tags separate, Other, Possible Romance?? idk, Tags will b updated as the story goes on yeehaw, Trans Character, i COULD ask my friends to help me beta but i dont wanna bother them is the thing, just the whole bag really!, n gman and tommy use any pronouns!, no beta we die, ok ok ok pronouns check:, to any half life fans i am Sorry, well an attempt at humor anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26366260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gummywyrms/pseuds/gummywyrms
Summary: He's not sure what's worse, his luck or his insomnia.He supposes he had to find out eventually. He just didn't expect it to go like this.Well, adult life can't possibly get any weirder, can it?
Relationships: Benrey & Bubby & Tommy Coolatta & Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Benrey & Bubby (Half-Life), Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Bubby & Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Darnold & Gordon Freeman, Everyone & Everyone, Gordon Freeman & Tommy Coolatta, Tommy Coolatta & Darnold
Series: TPOHAI/The Property of Malice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916032
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii im putting the notes at the beginning this ONCE bc im not sure if its a general ao3 fuck up or related to the skin i use but the notes get fucky if i put them at the end of the first chapter and it fuckinG BUGS ME so im just doing this.
> 
> anyways hi! i think this is my first time posting for hlvrai? yeah i think so lol. ive been thinking abt this au alot so i just decided to fuck around and write a whole fic for it. 
> 
> also shoutout to @ i3utterflyeffect on tumblr! they did some really nice designs for the au that im gonna b using here!
> 
> also also if u wanna see a bit more content u can check for it on my sideblog @ gordonfreemandumbassmoments under the /tpohai tag! ::)!!!
> 
> also also also this will contain some spoilers for the comic TPOH! if u wanna read it first, i would highly recommend it! you can read it here! http://jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/

He had always been an insomniac for as long as he could remember. Which sucked, obviously, but he made do with what he had. Which meant mostly working from home at godawful hours of the night. And, hey, it has its perks, especially when you have a 5 year old son to look after.

So that’s how, at like, two in the fucking AM, while working on some spreadsheet of bullshit, he catches faint voices drifting down the hall.

At first, he thinks that, oh! It’s the neighbors, because neighbors are like that and the walls in this apartment building are way too thin. But then he thinks about it a bit, and comes to the realization that he’s never heard one of these voices before. 

The other is Joshua’s.

It hits his shitty, sleep deprived brain a little too late that, maybe, somethings fucky. And it hits _hard_.

The wave of anxiety that washes over him is enough to get him up off the couch and scrabbling to unlock the one drawer of his desk that he keeps locked at all times. He yanks out his trusty crowbar- an old souvenir from when he was a rowdy teenager that he got way too attached to- and takes hesitant steps out of the living room and into the hall.

Every step is light, uncertain. He can already feel his palms start to sweat. He tightens his grip on the implement he hopes he won’t have to use to bash someone’s face in. Not in front of Joshie. That’d be fucked up.

As he inches closer to Josh’s bedroom, he picks up on the voices a little more. Neither Josh nor the intruder sound particularly distressed. In fact, Josh sounds…. Pretty excited, honestly. Which isn’t a GOOD sign, but at least there's no sign that his baby boy is being hurt. He listens in a little closer, trying to make out what they’re saying.

“....help ….. Boots on?”

“-ure!”

What? Huh? What the fuck? He can feel the cold sweat and anxiety pricking his skin. Before he can really think on it much longer, he makes a rush for the door, slamming it open with no regard for his neighbors or their goodnights rest.

“JOSH-”

Wait, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuuuucckkk?

“-ua…?”

The scene before him is, interesting, to say the least. Joshua is sitting on the edge of his bed, kicking his legs and looking a bit alarmed. He’s got his hearing aids in already and his favorite bandana and vest are laid out next to him. As expected, the intruder is helping him put on his boots- the cowboy ones, also his favorite. Concerning, but not the weirdest part of this situation, definitely. His son blinks at him owlishly.

The weirdest part is the fucking intruder kneeling on the floor, boot in one hand and the other propped on Josh’s knee to keep his leg still- and not just because this person has _broken into his home_.

They’re wearing a labcoat, worn slacks, a yellow shirt, bright red sneakers, yellow rubber gloves (like a mad scientist from a cartoon) and a black tie with colorful swirls on it (distantly, he’s reminded of a bowling alley carpet.) To say the least, they don’t look like your usual burglar.

Also their head is a computer monitor. Like, one of the big old ones he remembered his family having as a kid. They’re wearing a red and yellow striped propeller cap, although it’s kind of just floating above their head. If he was paying more attention, he’d notice that their ankles are… very much non-existent, or at least not visible.

On their screen is a surprised little “=O” emote.

He thinks he’s going to pass out.

* * *

In Tommy’s defense, this usually goes a bit smoother. And usually if anyone else lives in the homes of the folks he visits, they’re _asleep_. 

Convincing the boy himself hadn’t been super hard, although there _had_ been a few complications. Turns out he’s hard of hearing! Huh! He’s glad he knows ASL.

But when the boy’s parent- he’s pretty sure they’re his parent, they look pretty damn similar- comes busting in, shouting his name and looking horribly panicked, Tommy realizes he may be a bit in over his head. Just a bit.

They seem to take a moment to process the situation, eyes wide and unblinking. They’re shaking, fidgeting with the- is that a crowbar? Who just has a _crowbar_ in their house?- the crowbar in their hands. They look exhausted, deep bags under their eyes (one of which is an emerald green, the other a deep brown, Tommy notes. Very pretty- wait, no-) and after a moment, they rub them with one hand. Their face seems to pale when they realize that, no, this isn’t a dream.

They all gawk at each other for a solid minute or two, which is awkward, but none of them quite know what to make of the situation. Finally, after a moment or two of recovering from the shock, Tommy sets the boy’s- Joshua, apparently- boot down, grabs his cane and rises to his feet. He approaches Joshua’s parent (who has started to lean against the doorframe, looking a bit faint) slowly, but they seem to cower a bit all the same. Right. Tommy’s pretty tall, huh.

He offers a hand and what he hopes is a comforting smile, “Hi! I’m Tommy!”

Josh’s parent lets out a little, alarmed, sounding wheeze and jumps a bit. Glancing rapidly between Tommy’s outstretched hand and his face, they hesitantly take it, “Uh- h-howdy?”

Tommy shakes it with what he hopes is the right amount of enthusiasm in this situation, smiling wider, “It’s nice to meet you, Mx…?”

“F-freeman. Gordon Freeman. I- uhm- Mister is… fine? I guess?”

“Mr. Freeman! :)”

“I- H- What- How-” Gordon fumbles for his words, letting go of Tommy’s hand to push the heels of his palms into his eyes, crowbar now hooked under one arm. Tommy waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts. The shorter fellow takes a deep breath before he speaks.

“WHAT are you doing in my HOUSE? _And WHAT are you doing with my SON_?”

Okay now it’s Tommy’s turn to fumble for his words because _how_ do you explain this actually.

“I- It’s because I want- need- uhm-”

Gordon’s giving him this _look_ and Tommy kind of feels so fucking embarassed right now, actually. Nobody’s ever asked him before. _Why has nobody asked him before now?_

“It’s cuz- cuz he said he needed an- uh- a hero!” Joshua pipes up, simultaneously saving his ass and embarrassing him further. Thanks, Josh.

Gordon raises his eyebrows at that. Slowly, he shifts his gaze from his son, to Tommy. 

“ _What?_ ”

Tommy wrings his hands together, not quite meeting Gordon’s gaze, “It’s very compl- hard. To explain. But it’s really- really important! I promise!”

Gordon nods, seeming to mull it over a moment, before pinching the bridge of his nose and pushing his glasses down his face in the process, “Alright. And you wanted a _5 year old_ to do it?” 

Tommy doesn’t meet his eyes.

The silence that follows is so thick that you could cut through it with a knife, he’s sure. It feels like it lasts forever, Gordon running his hands through his hair and looking equal parts exasperated and stressed. Eventually, he speaks again.

“Alright, alright, you know what? I’m too tired to question this. Sure! Fine! I’ll fu- _fudging_ let you do this. But let me do something, first.”

Gordon leans down, gesturing to get Joshua’s attention and leads him out of the room, leaving Tommy to stand awkwardly. 

* * *

Gordon spends the next thirty something minutes rushing around the house, in and out of rooms as he collects Joshua’s belongings and stuffs them in a duffel bag. Joshua, while clearly disappointed with this development, helps his father round up his things.

Gordon pauses to shoot one of his friends and neighbors a text during the middle of his rush. Hopefully he won’t mind all this, especially on such short notice. 

He slings the duffel bag over one shoulder and scoops up Joshie in his arms. “Well, buddy. Ready for a sleepover?” He gets an enthusiastic nod in response.

An incredibly short trek later and Gordon’s knocking on the door to the Vance household. A few moments later and the door creaks open, Eli examining him with eyes still heavy with sleep.

“Gordon? What’re you doin’ up at this hour? You texted me at, like, three am.”

“I- uh- need to ask a favor of you, actually.” Gordon wonders if he looks as sheepish as he feels.

Eli squints, “Y’wanted me to watch Josh for you, right? Why? Are you two doin’ alright?”

Gordon nods. “Oh- no, no. We’re doing fine! But- uhm- something- something came up, and I don’t really want to leave Joshie home alone while I deal with it.” 

Eli’s squint gets more intense, more scrutinizing, before he sighs and nods. “Alright, but don’t expect to get away with this. I’m gonna have a _lot_ of questions for you, Gordon.”

Gordon laughs nervously, nodding as he sets Joshua down and hands Eli the bag. “Okay, Joshie. You’re gonna hang out with Uncle Eli for a bit, but I promise I’ll be back soon.” He pulls his son into a hug. “Love you, buddy.”

“Love you too, daddy.” The boy mumbles into his sweater. Josh is the first to pull away from the hug, waving goodbye as Eli guides him into the apartment. He’ll be fine, Gordon reminds himself. The Vances care about him and Josh like family, not to mention he and Alyx get along swimmingly.

Gordon takes a deep breath, running one hand through his hair before turning and heading back to his own apartment.

* * *

Gordon comes back, eventually, although he’s been long enough that Tommy’s sat down on Joshua’s bed and started fidgeting with one of the trinkets in his pocket. The door creaks back open and Gordon almost looks surprised that Tommy’s still there. Tommy’s a little surprised himself that he came back at all.

The man has changed out of his pajamas and into an orange sweater, black boots, jeans and a worn, green and blue windbreaker. His hair has been pulled back into a loose ponytail. He’s still holding the crowbar. Tommy stands, eyeing the man curiously.

Gordon sighs, “Well. Let’s get going, then. You know, before I regret this decision.”


	2. Multiply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upwards and onwards, onwards and upwards.

They’re already starting to regret this decision.

They should’ve known the absurdity wouldn’t stop at a man with a computer monitor for a head, and yet they didn’t see it coming. Not the boat made of smoke from the apartment building’s chimney, nor the way the stranger- Tommy, they correct themself- uses his cane as a paddle and it somehow works. They’re not prepared to be carried up, up, up and into the clouds and watch as Tommy gets out carefully, standing on the clouds as if they’re (normally) a solid surface and gesturing for them to follow.

If they were less tired, they’d probably be having a breakdown. As it is, they’re still reeling from all of this. Their PHD in Theoretical Physics did NOT prepare them for- for whatever all  _ this _ is.

A part of them knows it’s gonna get far weirder.

They let Tommy take the lead, watching as their feet kick up puffs of vapor. On instinct, they reach down and grab it in their hand, surprised when it actually works. It’s soft and fluffy and a bit damp. They find themself playing with it just to keep their hands busy, crowbar hooked into their belt for safe keeping.

Tommy smiles as he watches them, having stopped near the glittering frame of his chosen doorway of the day. As he approaches, Tommy reaches down and grabs some clouds of his own, promptly placing the fluffy substance on their face, transforming their goatee into an impressive, fluffy, white beard. 

Despite themself, they laugh, shaking their head and letting the clouds disperse. They swear they can hear Tommy let out a little chuckle as well, before moving to shift around in one of his coat’s many pockets and pulling out what…. Looks to be a key? That’s what they’re guessing, anyways.

He presents it politely to the doorway and they watch as an eye opens up, observing the key as they slot it into the keyhole. After a moment, a door fades into existence, swinging open and revealing what hides on the other side.

To say it’s beautiful is an understatement. To say they’re hesitant to step through is also an understatement.

Tommy, after a moment, lightly places a hand on their shoulder, pulling them from their worries. He smiles at them again as they look in his direction. “It’s okay! It’s perfectly sa- perfectly secure! Completely- completely OSHA compliant!”

They snort at that before giving a little nod and taking a few wary steps into the unknown. Tommy follows suit, leaving the door to fall shut behind them with nary a “thud”.

* * *

Tommy finds himself taking it slow, admittedly a little slower than he’d have liked, but he knows better than to be impatient. He understands completely how marvelous the place he calls his home can be.

As it were, he is currently stopped, waiting for his new companion to catch up as they marvel at the scenery. A golden yellow path surrounded by Trees in deep blues and violets. Their branches twisting and curling in ways a normal tree’s shouldn’t, and their “leaves” softly glowing orbs of light, in every color of the rainbow. Even after passing through here so many times previous, Tommy still thinks it’s as beautiful as his first time through.

“This is- this is  _ incredible _ , man,” his acquaintance breathes out, reaching out to run their hands along the trunk of a tree closer to the path and seeming surprised at how  _ smooth _ it is, “How- how is any of this possible?”

Tommy hums in thought; a soft, electrical noise that reminds them both of a normal computer, “W-well! It’s- the Trees have always dreamed so- so intensely! I suppose that’s what makes this place so pr- so beautiful!”

“I-  _ What? _ ”

Tommy’s already moved on, however, cane lightly clicking against the brick road as he walks. They hurry after him, mind buzzing with questions that lack answers.

* * *

It’s a short walk. One that shouldn’t require a break, but they stop to take one once they arrive, nonetheless. Tommy opts to settle against the base of one of the trees, placing his cane amongst the roots while his acquaintance goes to settle by the shoreline, eyeing the scene before them curiously.

The scene in question, a lake (or is it more of a pond? Tommy’s not as sure of his “bodies of water” terminology as he is of, say, his OSHA regulations or his breeds of dogs.), surrounded by grassy shoreline and the occasional scattering of Trees. The water is an opaque, sky blue, surrounded by similarly blue reeds. The human stares into its depths, head tilted curiously to one side (Tommy is distantly reminded of a curious dog or cat, which is to say it’s kind of cute.) After a long moment of staring, they speak up.

“What….  _ Is  _ this place?”

Tommy does that thoughtful little hum again, tapping the side of his casing with one finger as he takes a moment to gather his words. “This is a- the Pool of Tears!”

“The Pool of Tears?”

“Mhm! It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

They’re quiet, for a moment, before reaching out to touch the water. Tommy almost jumps up to stop them- water’s always dangerous around here- but they just lightly brush the surface with their fingertips, watching the water ripple. 

“...yeah. It is.”

Despite Tommy’s expectations, they don’t ask as many questions as he expected them to. Then again, they seem pretty lost in thought, and if those eyebags mean anything, they’re probably too tired to really question things.

Speaking of tired, Tommy’s pretty tired himself. It’s been a long day and it’s getting late anyways. He clears his “throat”, startling the human out of their thoughts.

“It’s- it’s getting pretty- pretty late! We should probably- probably be getting to sleep!”

They tilt their head in that questioning manner, “Is it? I’m not that-” a yawn “that tired.” 

Tommy suppresses a chuckle and nods, “Mhm! It’s important to- to get our rest. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow!” he chirps. 

His acquaintance seems to consider that a moment before relenting with a sigh. “Alright, man. Just…. I’m not.  _ Great _ . At this whole sleeping thing. So don’t- I dunno- don’t get mad if I can’t, I guess.”

Tommy gives him another nod, “It’s okay! We’re safe- safer, here! You can take your time! Don’t worry!”

The other makes a noise of affirmation, curling up near the base of a tree, leaning heavily against the smooth bark and tugging their windbreaker tighter around themself.

As expected, it does take them a little while to fall asleep, tossing and turning quietly. Tommy watches them the whole time, smiling contentedly as they eventually drift off. The Dreams around here really do wonders for the restless mind.

It doesn’t take him long to follow suit, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa this isnt a very long or interesting chapter im sorey but!! im promise things will pick up next chapter! maybe ill double-post if i get impatient enough, imve been looking forward 2 chapter 3 (even if it was kinda hard 2 write ngl)
> 
> anyways not to promote myself but! if ur interested in more tpohai u can check out the tpohai tag on my blog or ask me questions bat the au here!  
> https://gordonfreemandumbassmoments.tumblr.com/
> 
> also if ur interested in my stuff n would prefer to see general hlvrai stuff, ive got a funny little askblog here! (i promote it a lot in other places bc the original promotion post didnt show up in the tags ::( )  
> https://scienceteamanswers.tumblr.com/


	3. Palette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gordon vc* Aw fuck, I cant believe you've done this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! a lil content warning!:  
> there's a fight! people get hurt! straight up stabbed/impaled even! its not vividly described, theres no like. blood or gore and theyre fine nobody dies or anything but still! be warned!

He wakes up slowly, pleasantly even. Curled up in a little ball and surprisingly comfortable. In his still groggy state, he wonders if he fell asleep on the couch. He hopes he put his laptop down before he went to bed- wouldn’t want to go dropping it again.

He processes the fact that whatever he’s laying on is tickling his face gently, simultaneously soft and irritating. He moves to brush it out of his face, but it comes right back. At first, he doesn’t question it. Just grumbles and rolls over. Then his limbs hit something solid.

He blinks blearily, pushing himself up. He takes a moment to glance around. Trees. Grass. Water. Huh.

Wait- what? 

The panic hits him a few seconds after the realization, moving to lean against the tree he’s apparently been sleeping under and tugging at his hair.  _ Where- where is he? _

Where’s his  _ son _ ?

Just as his breath begins to hitch, the memories start to filter back in. Encountering somebody in his home, leaving Joshie with the Vances, leaving with this- this  _ stranger _ .

_ What in the world was he thinking? _

Scrunching his eyes shut, he tugs at his hair a little harder, trying to ground himself, muttering under his breath. “What is  _ wrong _ with you?”

He’s pulled out of his mini-tantrum-slash-self-deprecation-session when something lands on his face. He opens his eyes and-

Oh that’s a  _ big bug _ .

He lets out a little yelp, scrambling to swat it off. Clearly alarmed by the sudden movement, the critter flutters off him and opts to land on the trunk next to his head instead. As it stills, he gets a good look at it. 

It’s, as stated before, pretty big. Greyscale in color and its wings are lined with markings that, for some reason, faintly remind him of bones. On its back, a marking that looks remarkably like a skull. Like, unnervingly so. If he had to guess, it might be a butterfly? Or maybe a moth? He’s not great at bug classification.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” it says.

“H- huh?” he replies, thoroughly dumbstruck.

“What are you doing here?” it asks, monotone.

“I- H- I don’t. Know?” he replies once again, completely honestly.

The bug makes a soft noise, a weird rattling of sorts, as it considers his answers. The seconds tick by in silence, leaving him on edge.

“Uh-huh. Thought so,” its antennas twitch. “They all say that, you know.”

As he balks, trying to think of a response, the bug continues, “Not with their words. Not really. But they say it.”

He inhales sharply, “I don’t know what  _ that _ means!” Whoops. More distressed sounding than intended.

The bug makes that rattling noise again. “Whatever,” a pause. “Don’t trust people. Not around here. Especially not  _ him _ ,” he finds his gaze drawn to where Tommy sits, sleeping peacefully. “It’s not safe around here. Never is. Watch your back,” it flicks its wings outward, taking flight. “I’ll be seeing you.”

He sits there for a moment, rolling the insects words over in his head before shaking it. It’s too early for this.

* * *

Tommy wakes up, eventually. Shifts and stretches, as per his usual routine, before looking around. 

Everything's as it was when he fell asleep, at least. Well, mostly. His companion clearly woke up before him, having moved from his spot under a tree to sitting on the shore of the Pool, cross legged and looking a bit distant.

Tommy scrabbles around the roots for his cane, pulling himself to his feet, taking a moment to gather his bearings (and his balance). He ambles over to his acquaintance, simultaneously trying to get closer and give him some space. If the other notices his approach or the way he now looms over him, he makes no point of acknowledging it. Tommy watches him fiddle with the crowbar in his lap for a moment before he opts to speak up.

“Good morning! Did you sl-sleep well?”

He jumps a bit, glancing up at Tommy. “Uh- h- hey, Tommy,” he blinks owlishly at him. “I… Slept fine, I guess?”

Tommy hums in acknowledgement, moving to sit next to him, stretching his legs out and staring out upon the Pool.

They sit in silence for a few moments, before his companion clears his throat and Tommy glances his way. “Can I, uh, can I ask you a few things?” He’s still fidgeting with the crowbar, radiating nervous energy.

Tommy gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile, “Of course! What do you want to know?”

He nods, seeming to take the time to consider his questions. A light ‘tink, tink, tink’ fills the air as he drums his nails on the metal of his one and only belonging. 

Tommy’s about to touch on that thought- the fact that now this human’s only belongings are the clothes on his back and the item in his hands- when he finally speaks.

“What did you mean, uh- l- last night- when you, uh. You said the trees “dream”?” he does air quotes when he says the worm “dream” and Tommy is loosely reminded that, oh, right, trees don’t dream back on Earth, huh.

“Well, I mean that they- they dream! They wake and sleep like us, so- so of course they dream!”

He squints, processing the information, “You mean like, they’re  _ alive _ ?”

“Well, trees usually are!”

He snorts, “No, shit, wrong wording- I meant, like…. they’re sentient?”

Tommy makes an affirming noise. The human runs one hand through his hair.

“I…. Huh,” a pause, “Another question. What’s- what’re  _ those _ ?” he points out into the shallows of the Pool, and Tommy follows his gaze, where there’s a splash and a distant hiss. It takes him a moment to spot them, but two translucent, worm-like creatures thrash about in the water, lashing out at each other. Large, lamprey-like mouths lined with teeth threaten to break through slimy skin.

“Oh! The Doubts?”

“.... _ doubts _ ?”

“Mm-hmm! They can be- uhm- they can be a bit of a handful, but! They’re usually e-easy to ignore! Th-they fight amongst themselves so fre- often that- that they’re not much of a threat!”

“Uh-huh…” He falls quiet again, the tap-tap-tapping picking back up. He seems less nervous now, just fidgety. His gaze now flitting about, a curious glimmer in his eyes. Tommy finds himself smiling softly again.

Tommy snatches his cane, pushing himself up off the ground again, “Well, we should- should get going! We’ve got a- a lot to do!”

He nods, rising to his feet and hooking his crowbar on his belt again. Rocking back and forth on his heels as he waits for Tommy to take the lead. While the answers didn’t do much to quell his anxieties, not after his encounter beforehand, he tries to push them aside anyways. 

Tommy seems to know what he’s doing. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

* * *

It’s bad. It’s so, so very bad.

They had been making their way around the pool, following the beaten path, when something shifted. He had been the first to spot them- inky black creatures, spindly and sharp- lurching out of the water. Their movements unnerving- jerky and strange. 

“Hey, uh- Tommy? What’re those?” he had asked.

“What’re what?” Tommy had replied, head tilted inquisitively.

“The- the black things. Over there,” he had pointed in the general direction. Tommy had followed it.

The computer head had stiffened, making a startled, staticky noise. The human swallowed thickly.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no-” the taller man grabbed his arm with his free hand, pulling him into a sort-of-run. Not quite forgoing the cane, but he had to guess that trying to run with it would be less difficult than trying to run without it.

He glanced back, a few of the dark creatures already beginning to pursue. Oh boy.

He pulls himself out of his reminiscing to several moments ago as the computer head stumbled, the human following suit. A quick look behind him as he righted himself would tell him that the creatures were still following. Great. Fantastic.

Tommy followed his gaze, frowning deeply. He stops to lean against the trunk of a Tree, muttering to himself and rummaging around in his pockets. After a moment, he yanks a couple glowing vials out of his pockets- yellow, red, and orange. 

“Catch!” he chirps, tossing the orange one in the human’s direction. He yelps, fumbling with it (but thankfully not dropping it). He looks incredulously between the little vial and the monitor man in front of him.

Tommy’s quick to explain, thankfully, “It’s- Open it when they get close! Or you can break it, but I’d- I’d rather not litter!” Then, just like that, he’s off, charging one of the creatures.

The beast lunges, but Tommy’s reflexes are surprisingly good and he’s quick to sidestep it. Red vial in hand, he snatches the creature by the neck, wrangling it into a sort of headlock. The monster makes a shrill noise, struggling as Tommy pops the cork, red mist filling the air.

It’s equal parts mesmerizing and horrifying to watch- the beast shrieks a terrible shriek as it comes in contact with the mist. It’s body begins to disintegrate, as if picked apart by a swarm of ants. Then, just like that, it’s gone.

He’s pulled out of his trance to hop away from another of the monsters as it lashes out, pulling himself into a delicate dance. Therefore he doesn’t see what happens next on Tommy’s end, isn’t able to warn him as the dark creature lurches up behind him. Isn’t able to stop another from sinking it’s claws into the ground, snagging him by the feet and tripping him as he narrowly dodges the bladed head of the first.

Tommy hits the ground with a heavy ‘thud’, writhing as he’s pinned down by the creatures. “No no n-”

The human ceases the thorough beating he’s been giving his own monster with the crowbar, not willing to waste the vial, when he hears Tommy’s cry and the sharp ‘shunk’ of a bladed head meeting it’s target.

He doesn’t even wait to see if the creature he’s currently crunching under his boots is actually dead, turning on his heel and darting towards the scene before him.

“ _ TOMMY! _ ”

The next few seconds happen very fast. The beast that had stabbed Tommy right through the chest lifts its head just in time for him to knock it upside the head. Sending it stumbling, he goes for the next one, but is pulled to a halt by something snagging his ankle.

The monster he’d been pummeling hadn’t been pummeled enough, apparently, as it still managed to drag itself after him and now he’s trying to kick it off and-

_ SHUNK. _

It hurts. He can feel the sensation of unbridled terror flowing into and through him. His muscles tensing, the adrenaline racing through him making his heart pound. It’s all he can hear. His new injury is all he can feel.

He doesn’t feel the vial or the crowbar slip from his grasp, doesn’t feel his knees buckle or the glass breaking under his body as he slumps to the ground. Doesn’t feel the mist rise up around him in a protective cloud. Doesn’t feel anything other than the sharp, horrible pain in his chest.

Staring glassy eyed at the blue grass in front of him, he curls inwards on himself, as tight as he can manage. His eyes flutter, consciousness ebbing and flowing. It hurts, it hurts so much.

He faintly registers the sight of bright red sneakers in front of him, the rustle of grass, a concerned voice.

“Mis-... -an? ...ter….. Fr-!”

He’s out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii gay people. i didnt get to do a thing that i wanted 2 do at the time but like. ill try 2 squeeze some of those funny little hlvrai quotes in i prommy. still liked how this chapter turned out. gordon DIE!!!! /j
> 
> heres the Plugs(TM)  
> my hlvrai blog!: https://gordonfreemandumbassmoments.tumblr.com/  
> my funny little ask blog that you should check out please and thank u: https://scienceteamanswers.tumblr.com/


	4. Oil and Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an eventful morning, Tommy visits an old friend and finds time for zem and zir Hero to rest and recuperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiiii sorry this took so long i was having trouble writing this one n like. college has kind of been kicking my ass. ao3's bein finicky so i apologize for the janky formatting
> 
> minor content warning for some... Questionable Medical Methods. its not like vividly described or anything, but you Shouldnt Do This In Real Life

Tommy kneels down, head buzzing with worry as ze lays a gloved hand on the other’s neck, searching for a moment. Ah, there it is. Alright, they still have a pulse. That’s- that’s good.

Tommy moves in an attempt to unfurl the human out of their curled up position in hopes of getting a better look at their wound- Fear stabs always hurt like a bitch, not to mention the sensory issues that come with them- but the human grumbles in their unconsciousness, flinching away from the touch and curling inwards further.

Tommy huffs, frowning to zemself. Ze’s always so careful! How’d those Fears even end up here? They’re never present this early on! And now zir companion- zir  _ Hero _ \- is hurt!

Ze shakes zir head, attempting to dislodge his anxious thoughts as he considers zir options. Obviously, the human needs medical attention, but ze doesn’t have anything for these kinds of wounds on zem! Unless…. Hm…. That  _ could _ work.

Ze grabs zir companion, hooking his arm under their torso as best ze can and flopping them over zir shoulder like a sack of flour. They’re heavy, but Tommy can handle it. Ze’s strong, and it’s not far from here anyways. 

Tommy readjusts zemself, leaning on zir cane for support, before tromping off in the direction they came.

At some point ze makes a turn and, gradually, the dirt path becomes yellow brick, and from there, shifts into sturdy stairs leading up a hill. One that’s missing patches of land, unveiling the endless blue below, but a hill nonetheless.

Ze reaches the door, cane click-click-clicking against the solid ground beneath as ze leans heavily against the doorway. After a moment to catch zir metaphorical breath, ze knocks.

It’s a moment, before the slot near the top of the door clicks open and a pair of eyes peer through, “Tommy!” chirps the person on the other side, voice warm and welcoming, “What brings you... this way?”

“Ah, w-well… I’ve got a bit- a little situation here,” the computer head replies, moving zir head to gesture to the person currently flopped over zir shoulder, dangling most of the way out of the other’s vision. “And I would- would appreciate it if you could help, Darnold.”

Ze sees the eyes squint, humming contemplatively before the slot shuts and the door creaks open, revealing the shorter man on the other side, “Well, come on in, then! I do hope you plan on paying me back…?” 

Wearing his typical messy lab coat, rubber gloves and goggles (Lab safety is important, after all!), Darnold is just as Tommy remembers him, at least from his last encounter. He’s also already halfway down the ramp leading off into his workspace. Tommy picks up the pace, hurrying after zir friend.

“Of- of course!” Tommy scoffs, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Darnold chuckles, “Just checking!” A pause. “So... back at it with your search?” Darnold asks with a tilt of his head, not turning to look at Tommy as he reaches the bottom of the ramp. Tommy huffs a sigh and nods, even though ze knows Darnold can’t see the latter.

“Mhm.”

Darnold gestures to one of the nearby chairs, soft and red, next to a fireplace, and Tommy sets zir Hero down in it before flopping into a green one with a huff. Darnold moves to inspect the currently unconscious human. 

The potions master seems rather alarmed by the rather large incision in the center of their chest. He carefully pulls the jacket off and tosses it over the back of the chair before leaning forward to get a better look, “Geez, that looks pretty nasty. How’d this happen?”

Tommy lets out another huff, this one far more exasperated than the first, “Fears!”

Darnold raises his head, blinking in surprise, “All the way out here?”

“Y- yeah! We were just- just minding our own business and they just- just  _ show up _ ! Out of no- the blue! Er- the well, the Pool, technically, but….” Tommy slouches further into zir seat, crossing zir arms over zir chest, “I don’t get it! It’s way too soon and they- they never show up around here!”

Darnold hums, finishing his inspection and moving to his workstation, “That…. Is rather troubling, isn’t it?” A pause as he rummages through a drawer for ingredients. “You weren’t hurt as well, were you?” 

Tommy makes a noise that could best be described as “vaguely adjacent to inhaling sharply through your teeth.” Darnold whirls around, brows furrowed in worry.

“Are you alright? Do you need a potion as well?” He’s already wringing his hands together. Oops. Tommy didn’t mean to make him worry.

“I’m- I’m fine! I don’t exactly have a- a body,” Tommy puts zir hands up in a pacifying gesture. Darnold snorts.

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Lemme know if anything... starts hurting.” With that, he turns back to his station, and for a while, it’s pleasantly quiet. The silence is only disturbed by the occasional rustle of fabric whenever Tommy or Darnold move, the clink of glass containers and the slosh of liquid.

Eventually, Darnold pulls himself into a straighter position, holding a flask delicately in one hand, pinky stuck out. It glitters golden yellow, swirls of green amongst the bubbles, and Tommy can only assume it’s a healing potion. As Darnold turns and slides back over to the place where Tommy’s Hero lay curled in on themself, he hums thoughtfully.

“What made you pick this one?” the shorter man inquires, reaching out to gently pull one of the human’s arms away from their wound. Tommy chuckles nervously.

“W-well, they weren’t my- my first choice,” ze murmurs back.

“Oh?” Tommy can see him raise an eyebrow, even from zir current spot where ze can only see half of his face at best.

“I was- uh- I was aiming for someone they- they lived with, so t-to speak,” Tommy was hesitant to admit to what was technically an attempt at kidnapping a child, especially not to a close friend like this, “And they- they caught me! While the other person and I we- were talking and they- they want- offered to go instead,” Tommy rubs the back of zir casing, “I didn’t- this had never happened before and- and they seemed sma- capable enough s-so I said yes.”

Darnold makes another thoughtful noise, finally managing to pry both of his patients arms away from their wound and give the flask a satisfied swirl. Tommy observes as he leans in closer, carefully tipping some of the liquid into the wound (a move that wouldn’t normally be very wise, but in a place like this, it doesn’t really matter.) He stands there for a bit longer, observing the results appraisingly for a moment before rising again, seemingly satisfied.

“Well you… you certainly know how to pick ‘em!”

Tommy squints, “Is this a compliment or an insult?”   
As Darnold turns to return to his work station, he throws a smile and wink over his shoulder.

* * *

They aren’t entirely sure  _ when  _ they wake up. They don’t even put much thought into it in the first place, letting themself slip in and out of consciousness for a little while. But they wake up fully, at some point, when they can’t be bothered to sleep anymore. 

The first thing they notice is that there’s a dull ache in their chest. The second is that their hair has been pulled out of it’s ponytail and their glasses have been removed. The third is that they haven’t a goddamn clue where they are. They sit up a little, feeling themself sink into the plush cushion of a…. Chair? Huh.

They pull themself into a relatively normal sitting position, squinting around for their glasses. They think they can see something vaguely glasses-shaped on a side table, so they aim for that.

Their assumption is correct, although they nearly over-estimate their reach and knock the glasses off the table, fumbling with them and muttering curses under their breath. When something shifts out of the corner of their eye, they stiffen.

The movement eventually stills again and they, hesitantly, slip their glasses back on. Turning their focus to whatever's there, they find that what they’re looking at is less of a what and more of a “who”. The man’s all glass and slime, certain parts more solid, with an orange fluid sloshing about inside, while other parts are cracked, letting the fizzy, reddish-orange liquid slip through to form limbs and “hair” and otherwise get everywhere. 

Currently, he’s cozied up on the chair across from them, curled into a tight ball and draped in a soft looking patchwork blanket. A side table sits next to the chair, and on that sit a pair of goggles. The safety kind. From the way his chest rises and falls slowly and the fact that his eyes are closed, they have to assume he’s asleep.

He looks…. Harmless enough. If he hasn’t done anything to them while they were sleeping, then he probably isn’t interested in causing them problems. Speaking of problems…

Where the hell are they? And where’s Tommy? They can see now, so they might as well investigate.

They rise, shifting their gaze around the room. It’s pretty well-furnished- a bit cluttered, actually, but they’re not exactly one to judge- and from the looks of it, equally as lived in. There’s tall shelves with well-loved books in them, a fireplace, 3 cushy chairs (one currently occupied and another previously occupied) and a tacky rug. In the back of the room, there’s some sort of workstation, covered in an array of lab equipment. The old wood is stained with faint colors of unknown liquids.

There’s a ramp going up to the second floor (unless this is the basement? They’re not sure.) and they wander up it, one hand gliding along the rail. The second floor is just as pleasant and homey as the first. Warm sunlight blankets the room. It’s pleasant, but bright, and they emerge from the rampway squinting into the light. They spend a moment or two blinking as they adjust to the change in light.

The windows in this room are… well,  _ huge _ , towering over them and everything else, casting light and chasing away shadows. There are more of the big shelves, but instead of being lined with books, they’re lined with bottles. Strange fluids in carefully secured flasks, sitting stagnant on slightly dusty shelves. They find themself giving a curious hum. Huh.

Closer to the door, there’s a desk- they’re pretty sure it’s a reception desk specifically. It’s similarly stained like the workstation he saw downstairs (down ramp?). Just beyond the vast shelves of bottles and flasks, they can see another rampway, going further up. (So this is the first floor then? Yeah. They’re gonna assume it’s the first floor.)

They move a bit closer to one of the shelves, examining it’s contents. It all feels kind of fantastical to them, the strangely shaped containers full of various colorful liquids. They’re hesitant to touch them, afraid they might spill the contents. They were never the most graceful of individuals, after all.

They’re so involved in examining their surroundings, they don’t notice the man sliding up behind them.

“Admiring my wares?” chirps a voice from behind them.

They won’t admit that they jump, like, a fucking foot in the air. And the stranger probably won’t admit they yelp in surprise at the sudden movement. But that certainly doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

“Ah-!” the slime man (Oh this is the guy from earlier. Did they wake him up? Whoops, now they feel kinda bad.) puts his hands up placatingly, scooching back a bit, determined to put some space between them. “Easy there! I don’t- don’t mean any harm!”

They relax a bit, huffing out a sigh and nodding their head. They don’t really have the energy to speak, so they lift their hands hesitantly and begin to sign.

“Sorry. Little stressed.”

The slime man blinks, taking a moment to process what he’s saying before nodding, “Oh! It’s- quite alright! I understand, after a run in like that I’d be stressed too.”

They tilt their head inquisitively, furrowing their brow for a moment and slowly beginning to sign, before they remember, oh right, they were stabbed.

…

_ RIGHT, THEY WERE STABBED. _

The motions get a little more frantic, their expression considerably more alarmed, “I got stabbed. Straight through the chest. Hurt a lot. How am I alive???”

The other man once again lifts his hands in that same placating gesture, “Hey, hey! It’s alright! I- You got medical attention. I... gave you medical attention, actually- You’re- you’re fine.”

They slow down, pulling their hands closer to their chest and making a soft humming noise. After a moment, they nod, signing a hesitant “thank you”.

“You- ah, you’re welcome! I’m happy to help!” he nods enthusiastically, holding out one gloved hand for him to shake. “I’m Darnold, by the way.”

Another nod. “Nice to meet you,” they respond, before shaking his hand. It’s surprisingly firm, but it’s still got a fair amount of give to it.

“You as well!” Darnold smiles pleasantly, moving to put his hands behind his back. “Tommy told me you did quite a number on the Fears back there!”

Another pause, another head tilt. “The what?” ...wait, hold on. “You know T-O-M-M-Y?”

Darnold chuckles, “Of course I do! Ze’s a good friend of mine! You, uh….. How else would you have- have gotten here?”

They blink. Oh, right. That would make sense, wouldn’t it. Darnold continues.

“A-as for the Fears, those are the… creatures that you fought! Earlier. You know, tall, dark and sharp as hell?” They do know. They nod.

“...Speaking of, I’ve been… running low, on Fear parts. They’re a- a really good ingredient! In a lot of potions. You… wouldn’t have happened to pick up any during your little encounter, would you?”

They frown and shake their head. They wouldn’t touch those things with a ten foot pole if they could help it. Darnold sighs softly and stuffs his hands into his pockets, “Ah, well, I’ll just have to call up on one of those favors Tommy owes me,” a small shrug, “Er- not to repeat myself, but speaking of, ze might be a bit. I made zem go upstairs and rest, and I’m not too sure when ze will come down! So, ah, go ahead and look around, if you want. I’ll be here if you need anything.” With that, he slides over to the reception desk and settles into the chair, moving to grab something from one of the drawers underneath. They nod quietly and move back to observing Darnold’s supposed wares.

* * *

Darnold wasn’t kidding when he’d said it’d take awhile, although admittedly they’ve always been a bit impatient, so it may not have taken as long as it felt. Whatever the case, they get bored of browsing Darnold’s Mystery Juices at some point and wander back downstairs to check out his books. They end up missing Tommy coming down entirely when they get enraptured by a particularly interesting book on quantum theory.

Tommy comes trotting down the ramp, yawning and stretching zir arms above zir head, lab coat tied around zir waist and their tie hanging limply over zir shoulders. Darnold smiles and greets them, watching as Tommy’s colors shift from pleasant yellows and bright reds to softer blue hues with dark blue slacks and pale yellow sneakers. Zir tie shifts from one of its typical bowling alley arcade carpet patterns to a pattern with little bugs all over it. Ladybugs, dragonflies, beetles and moths, amongst others, spattered across a soft yellow background.

As Tommy moves to re-tie zir tie, Darnold sparks up a bit of conversation.

“Already… planning on leaving, huh?”

“Mhm! We’ve got to- got to get a move on if we want to- to get anywhere s-soon!”

“Ahah, that’s fair. Er- by the way, could you… grab me some more Fear parts, while your out? I’m running- running low.”

Tommy hums softly, before giving a nod, “Of course! Do you- you need anything else?”

He clicks his tongue, putting a hand on his chin in thought, “Perhaps some Regrets, if you can manage?” Tommy gives him another nod.

“Alright where- where’s the- the Hero? Are they still sl- resting?”   
“Oh no, they got up awhile ago!” Darnold chuckles, “I think they got bored of waiting for you and headed back downstairs.”

Tommy huffs, already headed for the ramp, not bothering to untie zir coat from zir waist. As ze reaches the bottom, ze sees zir Hero cozied up in one of Darnold’s chairs, nose shoved into a rather large book.

“Hello?” They look up, blinking at zem. “We should- we should be going, now! We’ll be needing to m-make good t-time if we’re goin- gonna get where we need to be on time!” 

They get a grunt of acknowledgement as they hop up from the chair, moving to return the book to it’s spot on the shelf. Tommy’s already halfway up the ramp by the time they catch up with him.

“W-well! We’ll be- be seeing you, Darnold!” Tommy gives a wave, and zir Hero follows in suit. 

Darnold returns the wave. “Be seeing you!”

And with that, they’re both out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fun lil tidbits abt writing this one:  
> \- i noticed darnold has a habit of pausing in the middle of his sentences n a slight stutter, n while its not as noticeable as tommy's stutter, I tried to incorporate that a bit!  
> \- tommy outfit color change! i wanted someone to share that ability w/ jeeb and tommy seemed like a good fit! i feel like i should note that his lab coat never changes colors.  
> \- i had a very vivid concept of darnold's Lab in my head while writing this, so I apologize for it getting a bit Exposit-y  
> \- darnold will be back, i prommy! he deserves some spotlight even if i dont feel very confident writing him <::)  
> \- made an attempt at bouncing tommy's pronouns around abit since zir an Any Pronouns kinda guy. opted for ze instead of xe like i originally planned bc ive heard screen readers have trouble pronouncing xe/xem pronouns. folks with screen readers n stuff feel free to correct me if im wrong, though! i can always swap around neopronouns no problem  
> \- gordos sign language!! they only really use it when theyre particularly tired or overwhelmed enough, but it happens! they know sign language since joshie is hoh and mostly non-verbal ::)  
> \- darnold uses ramps because he Does Not Have Legs and going up the stairs without legs is Hard
> 
> heres my stuff! Look At It!:  
> my hlvrai blog!: https://gordonfreemandumbassmoments.tumblr.com/  
> my funny little ask blog that you should check out please and thank u: https://scienceteamanswers.tumblr.com/ (havent updated it in awhile n i apologize for that ive been busy)  
> i made a playlist for this fic!: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8Hsq7x7Y1k3swTxE2lN5?si=qupd9TkrQAiTJKwKoaqQdw


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